My Four Immodest Proposals, as decided on the 4th of January, 2008

In this blog, the President of the United States is not the Decider...I am!

With that in mind, I HAVE DECIDED:

1. ) Since domestic partnerships can be a practical way for couples who cohabit to legally protect their property in common--it's about property, stupid! (As for granting social recognition for same-sex couples, no...but I HAVE DECIDED that social recognition is boring right now). Therefore, in the interest of private property, there will be Domestic Partnerships;

2.) Since Anderson Cooper seems to be someone who has it together (I mean, the haircut, the wardrobe, and for crying out loud, he's Gloria Vanderbilt's son!), I HAVE DECIDED that he will take legal guardianship of Britney Spears's two children, since those bambini sadly have parents who patently do NOT have it together;

3.) I HAVE DECIDED that Anderson Cooper and Larry Birkhead will have a Domestic Partnership...because they could make a lovely couple and together they could promote a fabulous style (wow...i think Oscar Wilde just possessed me to type that!) for the post-club scene crowd; and

4.) I HAVE DECIDED that Anderson Cooper and Larry Birkhead will raise the children of Britney Spears and Anna Nicole Smith as siblings. They will live in some private setting owned by the Vanderbilt family, leading quiet dignified lives away from the press, and they will not have to explain their home and lives, because despite being a news reader for CNN, Cooper knows the importance of discretion, and Birkhead will know that if he tries to court too much press, he will risk losing a good thing.

Think of that...the white trash litters of a skank and a starlet will be free from the tacky and tawdry legacies of their mothers by post-twinks who can dress well.

At least, that's what I HAVE DECIDED.

My Daemon...what do you think?